Proud

Recently someone close to me expressed worry that I was not proud of them... First of all, who would ever put me on that pedestal to have that sort of opinion may not have the right person for the job and Secondly, I have learned that to make anyone proud of you one has to first be proud of themselves.

I always wanted my Mother to be proud of me and remember fondly these conversations of how I become this person she would be proud of. It was never what you thought the answer would be it wasn't a certain figure that I needed to make or live a certain way or even have a certain job it was always a reflection of my own happiness. To my mom my own happiness was the key to her being proud of me.

At first seems simpler than achieving a certain figure, job title or lifestyle but yet how easy is it to be happy? It changes for me day to day. Some days I am super happy and others I am sad. Overall though I am in a state of happiness a majority of time. I didn't even have the guts to ask my mom the question are you proud of me UNTIL I actually felt proud of myself or even some what accomplished in my goals. Yes, my mother was determined to have me finish my degree and if I hadn't have ever asked her I may have thought that would do the trick but it wasn't until I was actually some what happy that she said she was proud of me.

Now I look at myself being asked this very question about someone I love and I find myself muddling with what would make me proud of someone. Again hard for me to even put myself in that peer role but if I had to I guess resilience, grace and poise are the qualities that I think come from accomplishment. And for some reason pride and proud-fulness are words that are mini finish lines along our life's journey.

The dictionary says...

proud |proud|

adjective

1 feeling deep pleasure or satisfaction as a result of one's own achievements, qualities, or possessions or those of someone with whom one is closely associated : a proud grandma of three boys | she got nine As and he was so proud of her.

• (of an event, achievement, etc.) causing someone to feel this way : we have a proud history of innovation.

• having or showing a consciousness of one's own dignity : I was too proud to go home.

• having or showing a high or excessively high opinion of oneself or one's importance : a proud, arrogant man.

• imposing; splendid : bulrushes emerge tall and proud from the middle of the pond.

2 [ predic. ] Brit. slightly projecting from a surface : when the brake is engaged, the lever does not stand proud of the horizontal.

I love the relationship between dignity and proud-fulness in the definition. I think it takes dignity to even ask someone if they are proud of you. It shows you care to hear feedback and what a version of the universe thinks and feels about you. You must have a strong even center to even ask this question and to make yourself this vulnerable.

Pride when out of balance can move us towards detachment and not remember how much we are a part of everything that made us who we are but the shear will to ask if someone else is proud of you is a healthy dose of pride in my opinion.

Happy "Goodness" Friday!

One of the highest tantric teaching is to look for the intrinsic goodness in all things. It sounds so simple and it is and yet, so powerful!

Ask yourself the question: What do I love about myself most today?

Whatever your answer is, that is the key to unlocking an awakening of connection to yourself. You can harmonize yourself with this remembrance and thus do the same when you see others.

Whatever your purpose... to feel liberated, enlightened or happy... all the same this teaching is fundamental, intrinsic and a door to possibilities.

A practice for someone special...

Contrary to my last entry and class I taught... this time what if you practiced for someone special. Especially someone who really needs some extra love. Give it a try to see if you are able to surprise yourself and do more than you think you can?

We are meant to connect. There is a nerve bundle called the Vagus nerve and it fires when you see or experience connection. When it fires it releases a drug called oxcitocin, which is cleverly nicknamed the "love" hormone. Thus Science would say that we should feel happier if we seek to connect and cooperate.

Energetically we can use this in our practice since it really isn't the postures that are going to make us happier per say. They may make us happier in our bodies and relieve pain but it's the intention that we add to the practice that really makes for a great recipe. Say you practice for a specific friend, thus adding the magical ingredient of "love" or connection or meaning. Whoa meaning! love! connection!... I think my vagus nerve is firing... my chest is expanding and I'm feeling a little teary and excited. :)

Since it's also been Scientifically proven that the human race is connected then if you practice for someone else they will feel it and what a great gift to give a friend an energetic moment of pure love and specially delivered by universe.

I am the most important...

"I am the most important..." I don't know about you but that phrase just doesn't quite feel right. How can it be true when there is such a huge world out there their has to be someone or something more important than me, right? Then I remembered the Tantric view and theory on why this world exists... to delight and be aware. So why wouldn't the universe want to delight and learn through me?

So what exactly should I do since I am the most important and why?

The first part of that question is easy, its bhavana or another question asking you what you want to create. Though it is cliche, love and beauty, are the first things that come to mind.

There was this guru who said to a student asking if Asana practice was a means to an end or necessary part of the yogic path in order to achieve happiness. The guru responded by saying, "you can make a meal for a loved one and you can make that same meal for a not so loved one. The meal is going to be the same on the outside but the energy within it will be different." So we can practice asanas and they may all look the same on the outside but that is not what matters its the inside.

This leads to the WHY? question. An advanced practitioner of life would ask why they are making the meal, practicing asana, taking the walk and for who perhaps? If you do what makes you happy its for you! This is where the universe's comic dance perfectly aligns within you and you sing a greater song, dance a bigger dance and shine bigger from the inside attracting more things that you will like.

Do what makes you happy, for who makes you happy and keep asking yourself why to make sure your heart is in everything you do. <3

Bad Dreams.... Good Day?

How are you supposed to have a good day after waking up from a horrific dream? Paralyzed by my dream I wondered how I was going to move but previous to that question I wondered WHY did I have that awful dream?

Good 'ole Google reminds me that bad dreams are a simple reminder that the universe and our subconscious are having to work over time while we are asleep because we hadn't been proactive in our life. In some way I hadn't be showing up enough in some aspect of my life.... so there was my solution... wake up and show up more today!

Leaders whether they are in public view or leaders by example are the ones who come up with solutions... they are not the ones who complain or tip toe by their problems. They face them with grace, honesty and dignity so that everything is resolved, moved through, faced and transformed when necessary.

So be the leaders we are meant to be... strong and open to discover the solutions!

Consumed by mystery...

The first principle in Anusara Yoga's elegant system is "open to grace." Which could mean anything when you just phrase it as such but broken down and unpacked it means... philosophically you remember something bigger than just yourself, you begin with a students mind open and porous, your inner body gets brighter, you settle, you soften your skin and truly all things come into balance when you relate yourself to the universe and the awe-inspiring potential in each of us.

OTG (open to grace) happens all the time, is threaded through all of the other principles and is essentially what happens when any of the other principles or all of them come into perfect balance. So the first principle is the key to everything and know that the first step is threaded through everything why not treat every moment as the most important first we have ever embarked upon. Everything is a first!

So poor yourself like fuel into the flames of your life and be consumed by mystery.

Room in our hearts...

In order to maintain anything it takes effort. Energy delicately matching our ambition. And if you are like me you don't dream small, everything needs to go to its fullest, its ultimate state and be larger than life. Which is not always the easiest ambition to sustain and to be quite honest, this ambition feels like the undoing to the progression. Just like anything we have to stop and get gas, we can't just blaze through. Actually, I even have hope for us to have natural friction perpetuating technology on day but totally off subject... Regardless, it takes effort to match your ambition, which poses an interesting question... How much?

The variables in this equation are Ambition, Effort and Sustaining that relationship. So first off 'how much' do you want it? Secondly, 'how much' effort do you need to get the ball rolling to the point where your energy and ambition meet? And finally how the heck do you keep it going? We as yogis talk about going deeper all the time but does that mean to "go deeper"? I mean where do we dig? How do we dig? Who's to say that digging would even get us to that deeper place?

I posed this question to my beloved who tends to have a completely different pair of binoculars to look through at the world than I do. He says "Soften". Soften to go deeper and I thought well that sounds a lot like what John Friend would say about melting our hearts but I was looking in the efforting category of tools to go deeper. So a light bulb goes off in my mind! In order to sustain the ambition you need to hug in strong to it but at the same time make room in your heart for all the joys of the world.

Make room in your heart for all the joys of the world.... what's ambition without a little chocolate along the way. Getting there should be just as sweet as all the effort. And make every effort one of JOY!

In our yoga practice we can effort more with the areas of our bodies that don't always join in and then melt open the place where the dreams and ambitions come from to make room for all the joys to flow in.

The Re-charge!

It is auspiciously the New Moon of the New Year and what a great time to re-charge your intentions. After the New Year you feel a super flux of energy super excitement to a super calm and how easy it is to steer off your consistant goals when there is such a tidal wave of energies. So it works out well this year to have a New Moons energies recharge your intentions and vigor to maintain your goals you hold dear to your heart.

Something we all hold dear is our integrity, its the luster you see in yourself when you glance in the mirror, its the confidence and commitment you use to support your friends and its your ability to serve others with fluid grace. Sometimes we need a reminder; that at our essence we are good and that we just do our best just like everyone else does. And I don't know about you but the New Year feels fresh and new with possibilities of new starts. Everything is a new opportunity for make CHIT (awareness) happen!

Give it your best go and keep a consistent flow so that you don't get knocked off course. Happy New Year and many blessings to you and yours! <3>

Brighten the dullness

With the darkest day is behind us... we step into longer and brighter days! So lets pump up the light in our lives and live it with the brightest intentions. The energy after Winter Solstice feels slow moving after the holidays everything is a little less exciting so it is up to us to pump it up. The easiest way to get making "shift happen" is to find the meaning. It is the end of the year where we are as close as it gets to the beginning so be grateful for the journey it took you to get here.

Be ever grateful for every person and experience that happened to make this current moment possible. It has made you who you are and that is always something to be grateful for. No matter if it was the best or worst year of your life be grateful and see the good things. By doing this you send a memo to the universe saying thanks for the "love" and I am ready for more.

"Gratitude is the gateway to love" - JF

The Darkest Day of the Year

Happy Winter Solstice!

Tis' the darkest day of the year... longest night and shortest day. Many things are born in the dark... dreams, seeds and even wishes. We drop wishes into dark wells with hope and belief that they will be heard. This day of the year is where nature aligns at a threshold awakes to all possibilities. All we really ever need to do to make things grow is to align with the natural flow of nature.

Tonight we practiced with our eyes closed for the entire practice. This not only challenges and strengthens our inner practice, senses and connection but it also allows us to practice belief. Belief in ourselves first and foremost, in our dreams or wishes and of course others and the power of the universe.

Dive deep into the darkness and your hearts inner guidance and offer blessings in the form of wishes and dreams out to the universe.